Calm Your Ass Down

What to make of these first 2 games? Yes, the Lakers haven't looked good. No fucking shit. I warned everyone on Twitter before the year this won't be an easy task. Not after overhauling half the roster, and half the starters. If you're not a Laker fan, these may sound like excuses. Sorry, can't deny that reality. Fact of the matter is, while I didn't think they'd start 0-2, in no way did I think they'd just breeze out of the gate.

Other thoughts

- Princeton Offense:

I know it takes time, but I'm not too happy with it. I like the idea of more pick and rolls, since that is Steve Nash's specialty. If the staff wants to use the Princeton that badly, they should just put Pau in with the bench and let him and Jamison do it, since Pau seems to be comfortable with it, and Jamison has played in it before.

- Mike Brown: Let me make this very clear. I do not want Mike Brown fired yet. I will say this, though. I question the hell out of his decisions so far this season.

- Transition D: This was a problem of the Lakers last year. Do I think they'll be much better at it this year? Not really, but I think as the season goes on, with Dwight playing back into shape, they could at least improve a bit.

- Bench: Shitload of new guys, it's only been 2 games.

- Dwight: Looking OK so far, he's working his way back to 100%.

- Kobe: If there has been one upside to the Princeton, it's that it's allowed him to shoot a higher percentage, which is something people have given him shit about for years. Not that I cared.

- Games: I've heard a lot of people talk about lack of effort, when I merely see something I've seen from the Lakers for a while: Playing down to teams they should beat, and losing.

Overall, there's 80 games to go. I'm not worried. Do I think they'll have a shaky start? Based on what I've seen, yeah. But you don't play for titles in November. If you are a self-proclaimed fan, and are questioning them already, don't come crawling back when they reel off a long winning streak.

Movie Review: Benji

I haven't done a sports movie review on this blog yet, but after what I saw last night, I feel the need to. ESPN's 30 For 30 series, which is maybe the only thing I can't criticize about them, showed a documentary last night that brought tears to my eyes. A couple other ones I've seen there have done the same, but I won't get into that right now.

20-20

I haven't been here on a minute, since I've been so damn busy with school. Today, I celebrate 20 years on this Earth. In my lifetime, I've seen a lot and done a lot. Here, I'd like to make a list of something that I've thought about in my life.

What If?

I usually don't like thinking about the "what if" or "only if" situations in sports over the years, but there are some occasions when I cannot help it. This is one of those times. I've come up with a list of them, but this is different in that this will be driven by you, the readers, and you can come up with your own conclusions that you can either leave in the comment section or tweet them to me (@WestCoastAR).

WARNING: These may bring back bad memories.

NBA Rank...Whatever.

This week, the ESPN NBA Rank top 10 was released, and as usual, it sparked the firestorm. The main one being from my fellow Laker fans after Kobe was ranked #6, just missing the Top 5. I really like Derrick Rose, but I gotta respectfully disagree with him at #5. Why? I'll give you a big reason why. People like to bitch about Kobe's FG% and use it against him, but only .005 separated him and D-Rose last year, with D-Rose having the slight edge (.435-.430). Since that is always a key argument against Kobe, I feel the need to bring that up. The main argument for D-Rose was his value became apparent after his injury against Philly. I definitely do not disagree on that, but I still disagree with the ranking, and would probably switch the two. Overall, I never put much meaning into these rankings, as they have the same value to me as the cardboard box I throw away when I'm done at In-N-Out. Why am I talking about them, you ask? I use these rankings merely as a way to express my views about the NBA and to get my point across. This is my way of telling you everything I have on my mind.

Why do I not give a rat's ass about ESPN's rankings? Honestly, I feel that they put too much emphasis on Player Efficiency Ratings, a ridiculous stat of which I have been a vocal critic in the past. I cannot take seriously a rating system that ranks Manu Ginobili (32nd), Paul Pierce (52nd), and Chris Bosh (48th) higher than Isiah Thomas (131st), Scottie Pippen (113th), and Bill Russell (102nd). Also, it's subjective and subject to each individual voters' biases. Also, anyone with a blog *points to self*, a computer, and time to burn can make his or her own. Hell, I'll do my own right now:

1. LeBron James- On top of the world right now. Don't like the dude, but how can I not?
2. Kevin Durant- His skinny ass may be the deadliest shot in the NBA right now.
3. Dwight Howard- Best inside presence in the game right now, has his best ever shot at a ring.
4. Kobe Bryant- 17 seasons in, still a killer.
5. Chris Paul- He may be the best pure point in the NBA, but he's also a dirty ass Clipper.

See how easy that was? You, and anyone else reading it, can probably make his or her own. Granted, you'd probably do only a top 5-10 instead of a top 500. There are so many ways to do it, yet there is no definite answer to any of this. Was it meant to spark debate and discussion? I think so. Did it accomplish its mission? Hell yeah. My point is, it's a flawed system. I know nothing's perfect, but this is not something to rely on and look at like it has any impact on the NBA or the world.

Alex's Rules For Sports

In my nearly 20 years on Earth as a fan, I've come to realize certain things about sports that I want to just make rules about. You may love some of these rules, you may hate some of them, but I make these up purely because I want to speak my peace on certain things, so here are 20 rules I have about sports.

Week 1-2 Thoughts

With 2 weeks of the NFL season through, here is a sampling of some of my thoughts of the first 2 weeks, some of which may bear a resemblance to some of my game observations I've tweeted:

- Holy shit, these refs suck donkey ass.

- The bounty suspensions have fucked the Saints hard.

- The Raiders are fucking HORRIBLE!!!

- Got damn, the Eagles are 2-0 despite the turnovers.

- Imagine how much better the Eagles would be if they actually hung on to the ball.

- I was way off on my Chiefs pick to win the AFC West.

- Despite the loss, the Broncos look real good.

- Russell Wilson can handle pressure situations, and would be 2-0 if not for Butterfinger Edwards.

- LMFAO @ the Cowbitches.

- RGIII is gonna be a lot of shootouts this year with this D.

- KILLA CAM!!!

- Tennessee Titans, you disappoint me.

- RGIII is balling.

- FUCK YOU PHILIP RIVERS. FUCK YOU.

- The Niner D's front 7 is the rougher, tougher NFL version of Alabama's.

- Billy Cundiff = Ray Finkle

- How does the Skins D continue to leave Danny Amendola, Chimichanga, whatever the fuck his name is, open?

- Big Ben is having his way with the Jets D like they're a blacked out 19 year old.

- Chris Johnson should wear a ski mask the way he's stealing the Titans' money.

- Can't spell elite without Eli.

- Observations so far: Mmmmmmm.......DROP! #BeastieBoys #Pharcyde #OldSchool (Bears-Packers)

- Observations so far: Lovie Smith looks like Cleo McDowell in Coming to America. "Boy, you wanna keep working here, stay off the drugs."

- Observations so far: There's more scoring at a virgins' convention than there has been so far tonight. (Bears-Packers)

- Observations so far: The real refs are all laughing right now, watching this game, having dinner, drinking, and rolling a fat blunt.

- Observations so far: Definitely hide the women and children. There's a bunch of pissed off Raider fans tonight. #RaiderNation

- Observations so far: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, fuck with SeaBass.

- Observations so far: The Bengals are getting the No Vaseline treatment.

- Observations so far: The Ravens are like the church. They're gonna do everything in their power to keep you from scoring.

- Observations so far: Even if this TD doesn't stand, Bengals corners are getting burned like a dude with gonorrhea.

- Observations so far: If Ray Lewis tells you to do something, DAMMIT, YOU BETTER DO IT.

- Observations so far: The Broncos' D is getting fucked like a $20 hooker.

Hittin' A Homer

The other night, I saw what is probably my favorite Simpsons episode of all time, "Homer at the Bat," where Mr. Burns makes a $1 million bet with a rival businessman that his softball team can beat the rival's team. In order to ensure a victory, Mr. Burns recruits 9 of baseball's biggest stars to take temporary jobs at the nuclear power plant. However, before the game, 8 of the 9, with the exception of Darryl Strawberry, are unable to play for various reasons. The episode came out in 1992, and it made me think: Who would be in this episode if it were made today, 20 years later? Main considerations and factors to me are a combination of stats and star power. Find out below the jump. 

Bromance

While I'm in football mode, a basketball story got a lot of peoples' attention today and became widely discussed. That story was the revelation that LeBron James and Kevin Durant were seen training with each other in LeBron's hometown of Akron, OH. This is nothing new, as they did the same thing last year during the lockout. This one caused a particular stir as LeBron and his Miami Heat beat Durant's Oklahoma City Thunder in 5 in this year's NBA Finals. This raised a lot of controversy in the Twitterverse and the blogosphere, and even led the Wil Wheaton to my Sheldon Cooper (If you don't get the reference, watch The Big Bang Theory), Skip Bayless, to tweet this today:

NFL Preview

Welcome to NFL Preview 2012. I will try to give you all the information I possibly can on who's up, who's down, and who's primed for a Super Bowl run. You'll probably think I'm crazy or an idiot after seeing some of my picks.

So, here we go:

Throwback of the Week: Trojans Forever

With the expectations for my Trojans back up to where they were in the mid to late 2000s, I cannot help but think back on the Pete Carroll era. I remember my cousin Ricky telling me in '02 about the Trojans and how they were gonna be a good team that year. Sure enough, Carson Palmer helped lead USC back to elite status, and it only got better with Matt Leinart. '03, we got a split of the national title (I still maintain the BCS computers fucked them over), and we left no doubt in '04. '05, I thought we would do it again, but Vince Young played his ass off to pull it out. The next 3 years were more BCS bowls and more great memories, despite no national titles. As we all know, it ended controversially when Pete Carroll resigned after the 2009 season to avoid the sanctions that eventually hit USC. But, this does not take away from my argument that from 2002-2009, there was no better coach in college football than Pete Carroll. Consider these stats: 

- 91-13 record overall, 57-11 in the Pac-10 conference 

- 6-1 in BCS bowls

- Back to back national championships in 2003 (AP) & 2004 (unanimous)

- 34 game winning streak

- 3 Heisman Trophy winners

- 14 1st round NFL draft picks

 There are a lot of other accomplishments, but I don't have that much time. I know some of these were vacated by NCAA sanctions, but screw it. It may not exist in official records anymore, but it exists up here, *points at head*, in my memory as a fan. I know it was Reggie who took the money, but are other major football powers really innocent when it comes to players taking money and coaches turning a blind eye to it? It just so happened USC got caught. Ohio State got caught, though for some reason, they weren't fucked in the ass like the Trojans were. Miami and Oregon have also faced similar accusations in recent years. Some say "Ohio State players took less money." Doesn't matter, they did the same thing USC did yet faced less punishment. Don't give me that "lack of institutional control" nonsense either. Other schools have done the same thing yet were not punished as harshly as USC. We're still paying for the sins of Reggie Bush, and to a certain extent, Pete Carroll, but I wouldn't trade the memories and good times of 2002-2009 for anything. So, thanks for the memories Pete, Carson, Matt, Reggie, and the rest of the Trojans. I'll never forget you guys. 

Fight On!

It's official. The 2012 college football season is upon us. It should shape up to be a thrilling season, especially for my USC Trojans. I think, based on everything, they will break the SEC streak and walk away with the national championship this year, but we gotta play the games first. However, here are 3 reasons why I love their chances:

1. The Machine (aka the offense)

I think calling the USC offense a machine sounds about right. Where do I begin? I'll start with QB Matt Barkley. I don't need to explain too much about him, you already know a lot. The preseason favorite for the Heisman usually doesn't end up winning it, but I like his chances, especially when you consider he plays with 2 elite receivers in Robert Woods and Marqise Lee, who combined for 184 receptions (111 for Woods, 73 for Lee), 2,435 receiving yards (1,292 for Woods, 1,143 for Lee), and 26 touchdowns (15 for Woods, 11 for Lee) last year. To add to returning starter Curtis McNeal, who rushed for 1005 yards and 6 touchdowns on 145 carries, Penn State transfer Silas Redd joins the backfield, adding to an already potent offense.

2. Key Players

USC's defense may not be considered the best in the country, but it can get the job done. Especially key to this defense will be returning senior safety T.J. McDonald, who, like Barkley, skipped a chance to go to the NFL to get one final shot at a national championship. Another key on D will be sophomore linebacker Hayes Pullard, who established himself as a defensive playmaker last year, becoming the first freshman to lead the Trojans in tackles in a season in 58 years. Ed Orgeron, who was Pete Carroll's defensive coordinator during the Trojans' championship seasons in 2003-04, is back in the defensive coordinator spot for the 3rd year of his second stint at USC. To me, this is important as Ed has championship and big game experience as a defensive coordinator. Despite losing lineman Devon Kennard and corner Isiah Wiley and a lack of depth, the Trojans D should be primed.

3. Determination

The third reason to me is determination. Matt Barkley and T.J. McDonald set the tone when they gave Trojan fans everywhere an early Christmas present last December by announcing they would in fact return for their senior seasons with the USC Trojans. The reason was simple. After two years of bowl bans, the two of them wanted to make it clear that they had unfinished business (winning a national title), which, perhaps not coincidentally, became the motto of this year's team. It is one of the oldest themes in sports: a team that is out to avenge or has something left to prove is generally hard to beat. Do I think the Trojans can win it all? Hell yeah. Now, all that is left to do is play the games.

My Top 5 Games of the Year

1. Oregon (November 3 @ The Coliseum): The game of the year. A potential preview of the Pac-12 title game, and a chance for the Trojans to remind Oregon that they are the better team, and this game could and probably will have major national championship implications, especially if both are undefeated. 

2. Stanford (September 15 @ Stanford): This should be an interesting game, as the Trojans face Stanford without Andrew Luck as the Stanford starting QB for the first time in 4 years, but should be interesting to watch regardless.

3. UCLA (November 17 @ the Rose Bowl): The crosstown rivalry is always a game to watch regardless of what the records of the teams are. UCLA wants to prove something with new coach Jim Mora, but that's a tall order against the Trojans.

4. Notre Dame (November 24 @ The Coliseum): Always a fun game for college football fans, the Trojans have some unfinished business in this rivalry game. The last time these 2 played at the Coliseum in 2010, Matt Barkley missed the game due to injury and Notre Dame pulled out a victory against the Trojans for the first time since 2001 in the rain. You know Matt wants another shot. 

5. Utah (October 4 @ Salt Lake City): Thursday night road games have caused issues for the Trojans in recent years, but Matt Barkley has a chance to change that against the Utes, who are considered by some to be a dark horse in the Pac-12.

One last thing: To all the Trojan fans around the world, wherever you may be...FIGHT ON!!!

The Mamba

34 years ago, on August 23, 1978, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Kobe Bean Bryant was born. In those 34 years, we have seen many highs, lows, and moments in between. But one thing is for sure: there's never been a dull moment in Kobe's 16 (going on 17) years in the NBA. 

My Confession

In light of recent positive drug tests and suspensions for Melky Cabrera and Bartolo Colon, tonight I have decided to come forward and admit that I have used some of the same banned substances that Bartolo Colon tested positive for.

These substances are:

- In-N-Out (If you're not from the West Coast, look that shit up)
- Original Tommy's (same as above)
- Porto's (Cuban bakery in LA, all you need to know is their shit is addictive)
- The Habit (same as In-N-Out and Tommy's)
- Fatburger
- Ben & Jerry's
- Twinkies
- Ho-Hos
- SnoBalls
- Krispy Kreme
- Paletas (Mexican fruit ice creams, for all y'all who don't know)
- Carl's Jr.
- Mexican restaurants
- Chicarrones (Pork rinds, for all you non-Espanol speakers)
- Chinese buffets
- Italian food
- And, too many others to list here.

Alex

Alex Morgan. Where do I begin? You got it all. Looks, skills, and you look cool in a headband, unlike a certain NBA player who plays in Miami and shall remain nameless. You're a SoCal girl and a Laker fan (hell yeah), and I'm willing to overlook your love of the Angels (Doyers all day) and the fact you went to Cal (SC fan, Fight On!) (BTW, the Trojans gonna whoop the Bears' asses). You look nice out there on the soccer pitch and you just look cute in general, especially when you smile and when you celebrate a goal that you scored, assisted on, or watched one of your teammates score. I could go on and on about how beautiful you are, about that nice photo spread you had in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, but I don't wanna come across as a fucking perv. 

Instead, I write this because I've simply been amazed by your soccer skills. No doubt about it, you came up big for us in the Olympics. After all, you literally saved our asses against Canada with that goal in extra time. I mean that quite literally. We looked like we would have to go to penalty kicks like last year's World Cup against Japan, but you bailed us out, so in a way, we kind of owe this gold medal to you, and obviously the 3 goals and 5 assists you gave us were huge. Your playmaking is a big reason why you and your teammates got a gold medal now, and we got to enjoy the ride along the way. So, thanks for everything, Alex. I always am proud of great athletes from SoCal (except for Paul Pierce, fuck that bitch), and I look forward to seeing you play more in the future. 

P.S.: Holy shit, I feel kinda weird having a crush on a female who basically has my first name. 

Hustle

"Number 2: never let 'em know your next move. Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence?"

- 10 Crack Commandments, Biggie Smalls

Well, he did it again. Mitch Kupchak has pulled off yet another blockbuster trade, and his second this summer. Dwight Howard is officially a Laker, and Mitch managed it without having to give up Pau Gasol. In case you missed it, here's the recap:

LA Lakers get- Dwight Howard, Chris Duhon, Earl Clark

Orlando Magic get- Arron Afflalo, Al Harrington, Nikola Vucevic, Moe Harkless, one protected pick

Philadelphia 76ers get- Andrew Bynum, Jason Richardson

Denver Nuggets get- Andre Iguodala

As you can see, this is a major trade, one that has the potential to shift the NBA landscape for the next several years. Miami is still listed as the favorite in Vegas and in many reporters' and analysts' minds. But make no mistake, the Lakers are back, and they're coming for the Heat. Will they win it this year? We don't know yet. That's why they play the games. But no matter what your team affiliation is, you gotta admit, the Lakers' chances are the strongest they've been in about 2 years. Remember this, the Lakers dragged themselves to the 3rd seed in a tough Western Conference with the shittiest bench in the league.  This may seem like a short article on something as big as the Dwight Howard trade, but believe me, this is only the beginning. With our new pieces, the only way to go is up.

Magic Mike

I know what you're thinking. What in the hell is a dude who bleeds Dodger blue doing writing about the Angels? I've insulted the Angels over the years, with the Mickey Mouse Club being my favorite insult, but, that's not what I'm here for right now. I'm here right now to talk about a dude that has, to be perfectly honest, amazed the fuck out of me. 

His name is Michael Nelson Trout, but we all just call him Mike. What has he done, you ask? Well, let's see. He's hit .348, 1st in the AL in batting, 1st in the AL in RBI with 81, and is 1st in the AL in steals with 31. Also, he's 2nd in the AL in slugging with a .601 average. Not bad for a rookie. In fact, I will go out on a bit of a limb, and say he's the best rookie I've seen in my lifetime. Consider this: The last players to reach 80 runs and 55 RBIs in the first 81 games of a season were Alex Rodriguez and Todd Helton in 2000. The last rookie to do it? A dude by the name of Joe DiMaggio, back in 1936. I thought he was pretty good already, but what really made me take notice of him was this catch he made against the Orioles, where he basically went all Spiderman on the wall, and climbed over to make the catch. I already knew of his hitting and base-stealing ability, but that made me, a lifelong Dodger fan, stand up out of my seat and clap. It was one of those "How the fuck did he do that?" moments in sports that comes along every so often. 

Over the past year, we've seen young players step up, and we've even come up with nicknames for them, such as Tebowmania and Linsanity. Despite the fact that Mike Trout has not gotten quite the media attention of those two nor has been given a catchy nickname, I believe he has the best future out of all of them. Dude is only 20. He doesn't even reach legal drinking age until August 7, little under a week from now. He's playing this well, and is only in his first full year? We've barely scratched the surface with him. He has unlimited potential, and who knows what he can do? First .400 hitter in 70 years? A couple of MVP awards and World Series rings? His future is limitless. So, Mike, this guy who bleeds Dodger blue gives you his respect. You've definitely earned it. 

A Love Letter to Skip Bayless

(I) fuck with your soul like ether, (Will) teach you- the king- you know you, (Not) God's Son across the belly, (Lose) I prove you lost already

-Nas, "Ether"

Baseball and Music

There have been two things I've loved greatly in my lifetime: sports and music. I enjoy both, feel very passionately about both, and both have helped me get through some rough shit in my life. Until now, I've never really thought about some connections between two of my loves, until now. With baseball season in full swing and pennant races about to heat up, it dawned on me that there are some connections with some baseball players and teams and musical artists and groups. Some of these may not make sense to you, but that's OK. I don't make sense half the time anyway. Here we go:

L.A. Dodgers- N.W.A./Red Hot Chili Peppers

Photo credit: Sons of Steve Garvey

Now, you may be thinking what do the Dodgers have in common with N.W.A. and the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Like both N.W.A. and RHCP, the Dodgers are a SoCal institution revered by many. Like N.W.A. and RHCP, they're one of the most iconic franchises not just in their sport, but in all of sports, much like both N.W.A. and RHCP are two of the most iconic music groups of all time, regardless of genre. N.W.A. was once considered "The World's Most Dangerous Group," and now, the Dodgers have some of the major leagues' most dangerous bats: Beast Mode, Dre, HanRam, and now the Flyin' Hawaiian, and like RHCP, they have their own unique style when it comes to winning, much like RHCP has their own unique style of music.

NFL Power Rankings: Training Camp Edition

With training camp upon us, I've decided to revise my previous power rankings a bit. In case you forgot how I do them, here it is:

Tier 1- Legit Super Bowl contenders
Tier 2- Decent/good teams, but lack something
Tier 3- More than likely miss playoffs, but may make it with a couple of breaks
Tier 4- Takes a miracle

Tier 1

1. New England Patriots   (Previous: 1)
Belichick, Brady, and Gronk want to take care of unfinished business.

2. Green Bay Packers       (Previous: 2)
An extremely efficient machine that is tough to beat.

3. New York Giants          (Previous: 3)
Only real question into this season is focus and drive after such an emotional Super Bowl win.

4. San Francisco 49ers      (Previous: 4)
With new receivers and a full training camp to learn Harbaugh's system, Alex Smith should be interesting to watch this year.

5. Baltimore Ravens         (Previous: 5)
Despite losing some offensive linemen and key defensive players, they continue to reload.

6. Houston Texans           (Previous: 6)
After losing a couple of key players on the lines, what can they do this year?

7. Chicago Bears              (Previous: 9)

Offensive line remains a question, but defense can compensate. Remember, they went 7-3 with that offensive line before Cutler went down last year.

8. Philadelphia Eagles      (Previous: 7)
Defense should get better with a full training camp to figure out Jim Washburn's Wide 9, Vick will be better than last year, though he was decent last year.