Alex

Alex Morgan. Where do I begin? You got it all. Looks, skills, and you look cool in a headband, unlike a certain NBA player who plays in Miami and shall remain nameless. You're a SoCal girl and a Laker fan (hell yeah), and I'm willing to overlook your love of the Angels (Doyers all day) and the fact you went to Cal (SC fan, Fight On!) (BTW, the Trojans gonna whoop the Bears' asses). You look nice out there on the soccer pitch and you just look cute in general, especially when you smile and when you celebrate a goal that you scored, assisted on, or watched one of your teammates score. I could go on and on about how beautiful you are, about that nice photo spread you had in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, but I don't wanna come across as a fucking perv. 

Instead, I write this because I've simply been amazed by your soccer skills. No doubt about it, you came up big for us in the Olympics. After all, you literally saved our asses against Canada with that goal in extra time. I mean that quite literally. We looked like we would have to go to penalty kicks like last year's World Cup against Japan, but you bailed us out, so in a way, we kind of owe this gold medal to you, and obviously the 3 goals and 5 assists you gave us were huge. Your playmaking is a big reason why you and your teammates got a gold medal now, and we got to enjoy the ride along the way. So, thanks for everything, Alex. I always am proud of great athletes from SoCal (except for Paul Pierce, fuck that bitch), and I look forward to seeing you play more in the future. 

P.S.: Holy shit, I feel kinda weird having a crush on a female who basically has my first name.